One of my first memories of her was when I was around six. I was playing at her house on the rez when she called me into her room where she pulled out two beautiful Navajo skirts with a matching velvet purple shirt (my favorite color) just for me then told me stories of her when she was a girl. I don't remember them, I really wish I did. All I remember is the feeling and atmosphere. It was bright and hot outside, there was red sand on the floor, my grandma's room had pictures covering every wall and she had the most beautiful jewelry on her dresser and I just listened to her speak with in her soft, Navajo accent. I loved listening to her, and my grandpa speak, especially when they slipped into Navajo. It was so beautiful, and somehow, I felt a connection to everything around me.
Another memory I have of her took place around a fire. Behind her house she had a stone fire pit and over the fire there was a flat stone that would heat up. My grandma would make fry bread dough, pat it back and forth between her hands making a perfect circle in seconds. Then she placed the dough on the stone to cook as she prepared another. I would watch, hypnotized by the dough's rhythm and astonished every time as she would use her bare hands to flip the tortilla on the very hot stone. Then I would be filled with delight as she handed me fresh warm bread from the stone. Those nights were perfect - sitting out under the clear, crisp skies wearing my dad's baggy sweatshirts and eating grandma's bread around the fire.
Every time I saw grandma, she gave me something beautiful: necklaces, jewelry, clothing, hair ties. One of my most cherished items she gave me was a watch. One of the last times I saw her, she called me over and gave me a beautiful turquoise watch off her wrist. As she handed it to me she turned it over and showed me the inscriptions on the back - initials of her mother, her grandmother and her own. Every time she gave me something new, I would wear it for weeks! But with this watch, it was different. For one, I have tiniest wrists ever so it doesn't quite fit, but more importantly, I started to realize she was connecting me to her, the rez and my people. She helped instill a pride in my Navajo culture and a thirst to learn, live true to my roots and lift my people.
When I first decided to do the Miss American Indian pageant at my college, I didn't want to win. Honestly, I entered at the last possible second I could. It wasn't because I wasn't proud o f my culture, but, I didn't think I would be good enough. The other girls competing grew up on the rez, could speak some Navajo and had their own regalia. As I was looking for inspiration for my essay, I stumbled upon a song my dad showed me when I was a senior in high school. I love this song. It always gives me strength when I feel discouraged.
As I listened to this song, I thought of my family. I though of my dad and brothers and sisters, my grandma, my aunts and uncles and all my cousins. I realized I wanted to make my family proud and be an example and inspiration to them, I wanted to teach what history books don't tell and I wanted to serve. I then picked up the watch she gave me and read the initials on the back and smiled. I knew I could do this. And I did. After my incredible experience serving, I gained an even greater appreciation for my heritage and my grandma will always be a part of that. Memories fade, but the inspiration and lessons will always be a part of me.
That was my Miss American Indian Essay slideshow I presented for the judges except I gave a speech instead of there being music in the background. I updated it this weekend while thinking of my grandma and my times visiting her on the rez: red sand, the rhythm of fry bread, the smell of mutton stew, exploring the land with cousins and the time we all packed in the closet telling scary stories. Haha. That's one of my favorite memories! All us cousins telling stories in a closet. Then we had to break for lunch. Upon returning I had Cody climb behind all the clothes so he could jump out and scare the other kids when I said the punch line. They all screamed and toppled out of the closet on top of each other while Cody and I laughed our heads off in the closet. Good times. :) The first slide is one of my favorite Native teachings - how we are all connected, people, animals, the earth. This is why I have chosen my career path. I believe the earth will provide, that health can be discovered in nature and yourself and ultimately your health reflects your relationships with the earth, people and God. I updated the slides on family to include my new Hall family because I was single when I was MISS American Indian. Ironically though, that's when I met Addison. :)
Anyways, I just wanted to let all my June family I'm thinking of you and since I couldn't be there physically, I figured I could be there in the form of long blog posts and memories. Loves to all! :)
